My sheets look like a crime scene.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
