she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
