So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
