I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize