Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish I could teleport
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
