hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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