people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
