God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
