what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
