Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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