My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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