Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
