white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that's an acceptable place to lick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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