dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is my gift to your gina
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
