We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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