Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
