She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
