he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize