Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
