I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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