she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
