Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
