I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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