Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
