So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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