Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
