There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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