I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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