i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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