I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
