why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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