I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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