I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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