She said her name was "party"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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