The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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