I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
