I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
