I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
