So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
