Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
