Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
