Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
