Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
