I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im part way to drunk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
