I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
