im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
