Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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