franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
