And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
