home. puking in laundry basket.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
