This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
