he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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