none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
