____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize