you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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