Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
