I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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