In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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