i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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