If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
